There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
