need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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