Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
