I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
