If that was your dad, he is hot
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
