So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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