We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize