NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
