No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
