Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
That accounts for only three of the penises
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
