physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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