You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
