i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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