Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
