I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
