I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
