Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
