Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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