About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
