I'm drive I can fine osifer
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
