totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
