You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I love having hate sex.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
