he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I am naked and annoyed.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
