I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i barfeds in our rink
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
