My vagina just recognized that song.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
