Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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