"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
