Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Randomize
