we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
