spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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