just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
