Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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