State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
