I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
