i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
