Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
