Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
