you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
