at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You ruined the universe
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
