You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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