never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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