She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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