I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
