Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
