is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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