...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
