i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
