You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
