I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
