i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
